I was a poor poor art student when I decided to start a blog documenting the process of my paintings, photography, drawings and journaling. Now a recent art grad, not much has changed other than the label and maybe a change of scenery.

October 27, 2009

be here now.

I rediscovered the excerpt I previously talked about from the book, "Letters to a Young Artist."

The real life of the artist is solitary.

The central fact of artists' lives - the part that non-artists never seem to quite understand - is the loneliness of the studio. Before our runs are over we will have spent more time - thousands upon thousands of hours - alone, just staring at these things we make. This part of our experience must be factored in to every idea about artis' lives if you want to understand them. More artists stop working because of this loneliness than for any other reason.

If there is one essential survival skil that you must learn, it is how to sustain yourself and your work over the years. There is really only one way to do this, and that is by loving what you do, being fascinated by your work, and by being obsessed with making art. You will get in trouble if you need approval of others to keep your work moving forward. After all these years, the one essential element in my practice, the one thing I am sure of is what I need to be interested in and happy about what I am doing in the studio.

-Thomas Nozkowski

October 25, 2009

cold feet.

now is not the time to get cold feet, this i realize.
my senior show is in april, i have a painting critique on
tuesday, and multiple projects pulling me in every which
direction. and yet, i find myself wanting to forgo all these

i'm not a fan of beginnings, alright with middles and sad
to see things end. however, beginnings or firsts of anything
seem to be my biggest downfall, my procrastination sets in
and i find myself glued in one position and not wanting
to move.

today, after a weekend of work i found myself wanting
to stay in the comforts of my home. sometimes i really
hate applied arts, my studio space, this linoleum floor
and the fact that i don't see the sunlight for hours at end.
and yet, i know i will miss this when it's all said and done.
it's just that i have to keep reminding myself that lately.

so what is this post trying to say? what am i trying to get
at to you (my audience) here? your guess is better than mine,
i suppose i just felt like venting.

but i will say, a professor during class the other day talked
about how else can we be motivated to come in and paint?
we should be in our studios all the time and be working non-
stop to create art, because once we've received that fake diploma
on stage, chances are we won't create art again.

i won't say i will be that statistic, nor will i not be either.
i do realize that right now i've got it made, i'm in a world called
college vs. the real world. and it's just going to get tougher, it's
not like i'm teaching a class, am a mother or have major dilemmas
in my life.

so if i'm getting cold feet now to make art in all forms, then
perhaps i'm shit out of luck.

October 12, 2009

little green book.

lately it's been hard to be motivated, what with being not 100% well and so much to do, it's kind of a downer. i have three essays due for senior seminar and they all involve reading. what, reading? this is an art class, how is that supposed to relate to anything i do? however, it does a lot. a lot of people don't like to read/write, especially art students it seems. that's the reason why we're not business management majors in the first place, so we don't have to take tests or write papers. i agree, i'm not a big fan of paperwork. but we are assigned to read one book that i feel hits home called, Letters to a Young Artist. It's a book based off of a fictional letter written by a young starting artist with questions and concerns who sends it to well-established artists. They all write back responses, some with reassurance, some with straight facts of how it is to be an artist (basically it's not a walk in the park).

There was a letter that talked about being alone in the studio and how that one should really get used to this. While having contacts and being social is important in the artworld to make connections in the end it seems that isolation, is something to be expected in being an artist.

I agree with the statement above, immensely. I walk through the building and see design students yuckin it up and walk into the painting lab and there are probably two or three souls with their ipods in, not much for social interaction. Then there are my friends are at home on their computers doing their homework, I need to be in the studio. I need to be out of the comforts of home. It can sometimes be nice to get away and it can also mean missing out on quite a bit. Being an only child, I was used to doing a lot of things on my own and being alone growing up. I came to college this huge social network and it's allowed me to come out of my shell and to go in reverse just seems weird. This post can seem like a big whine fest, but i'm just saying how it is for a studio major, or so i've experienced. but if this is what i'm going to do i've gotta get used to it.

tonight, same scenario, not feeling well and wanting to just sleep i realized i need to put excuses aside. here's evidence to prove, that i made it to applied arts and that i am painting. and now blogging. maybe this is the dose of reality i really needed.

October 7, 2009


here's about an hour menacing (for the model) drawing of my good friend sarah. i would say i got the traits or resemblance down, although i wouldn't say there's that many defined lines in real life, they make her look old but they were more so just to act as contours...anyways i think it would look more appropriate with shading and i still need to tackle plane shifts. overall, it's not bad, but i need to be more conscience of the skull practices and the value lessons that i've learned in the past couple of weeks.

October 6, 2009

i am my mother's only one.

last week, tamara put on some music that i felt an instant connection to...the chords, the pace, the haunting echos of the singer seemed to capture the movement in my mark making. so i asked her, who is this musician? she said, bon iver.

i have talked to a few people how i am so transfixed by this artist, and heard their stories of how they too get that eerie sense of self when listening to his tracks.

i have only listened to one song for the most part over and over: flume.

i did some research on this band and i come to find out bon iver is french for good winter. it's actually one artist who did the song 'flume' and other songs on his cd 'For Emma, Forever Ago.' His name is Justin Vernon and he is a native to Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Apparently, the story goes that after a breakup with his band and girlfriend, he escaped to his father's cabin in northern wisconsin, where he spent all of his time isolated. he ended up writing and recording songs by himself with the little equipment he had. It boggled my mind, but it made me like him even more. Maybe because I understood how he felt, a lost artist. maybe because I want that too: to be able to just escape and sort out my thoughts in a remote forest surrounded by trees and cold. depressing? very much so, but i'm so envious.


October 5, 2009

i almost forgot

here are the 3 drawings i did of the skull. i know some things i can still work on after a small critique. i've tried adding value, but i can't seem to find a style between my love of mark making and my urge to blend. it's as though i've forgotten how to do this, my drawing 1,2 and lifedrawing skills are being put to the test. maybe i'm just too worried about it, or maybe i'm worried to fail, which is funny because you can erase or just use the next piece of paper and start over. the more i try, the more i will learn. but in the end, i still can't wrap my head around it (yes, all puns intended). sometimes i have those a-ha moments, i'm hoping for that soon here.