I had a heart to heart with my professor about my paintings lately. They're not going the direction I want them to as of late and with a looming deadline of my senior show upon me, well it's not the best timing. i'm not sure if it's the figure that's pissing me off, if the "honeymoon" of a new painting is over, or if it's just the pressure of my show being so close, but i'm not feeling good about where i'm at right now. During this h2h, i mentioned to charlie that i know i keep a lot of stuff to myself and he said he could tell, everytime. he said he could also tell that my 'super ego is a bastard.' i laughed, at first because he said bastard but then if i was correct, knew that he meant i was incredibly hard on myself and my worst critic. so just to be clear and get the right information on what freud's super-ego is, i, of course wikipedia'd it. Take a look:
The Super-ego aims for perfection. It comprises that organized part of the personality structure, mainly but not entirely unconscious, that includes the individual's ego ideals, spiritual goals, and the psychic agency (commonly called "conscience") that criticises and prohibits his or her drives, fantasies, feelings, and actions.
Damn. Am i that transparent? Apparently. But it was good, to actually talk about it rather than keep all these insecurities about my paintings right now to myself. and now i blog about it? psh, i'm such a hypocrite.
anyways, charlie suggested limiting my amount of work for the show. he suggested doing a'la primas (painting in one sitting) for just an hour or two and getting started on that before i dive into these big tasks like the canvases i'm working on now. i think i'm going to take him up on this offer right now. i'm comfortable what i'm painting, or at least i know what i'm doing so it's not engaging. and i know the viewer can see that. yea, it's good but does it SING? no. right now, it sounds like an alto with the flu.